The moment has arrived, you’ve been chatting with someone and it seems to be going somewhere. Now do you ask them to go for coffee or for a drink? There are a few things to consider when deciding on the best course of action.

What Is Your Intention?

What is it you hope to achieve from your interactions with this person? You obviously don’t much about this person yet since this is most likely the first time you will be going out, but usually people have a pretty good sense of where they want something to go. Do you want to development a relationship with this person? If so, coffee is the best option. You will be on top of your game and alert so you can articulate your thoughts and be in the best state of mind to maintain your attention when they are speaking. Now if your intention is to have some “fun” with this person and nothing more then a drink is definitely your best option. This will keep the mood loose and hopefully loosen up your date. The alcohol will give you that little bit of confidence you’ll need when the night is coming to an end and you want to initiate to keep it going, and the booze will help your date agree.

Where Did You First Meet?

Lets assume your interactions with this person originated on an online dating site, which site was it? Depending on what dating site you met through there is usually some lines drawn in the sand and you have a general idea of where the night is headed. If you met on eHarmony your probably not planning on meeting up for a hot and heavy hook-up and if you met through a site like SocialSex your probably not going out for a romantic dinner date to get to know each other. So if you plan on a hook-up I think it goes without saying that meeting at a bar for a drink will only help the night end with you going home feeling satisfied. If you met through a site more focused on finding love then coffee is way to go, this will keep things casual and sober is certainly the best way to meet someone you plan on continuing to see in the future.

There’s no real right or wrong when it comes to picking a place for your first encounter with someone. Pick a place that feels a bit more intimate if you want to get to know someone and pick a place that is busy and crowded that you’ll want to leave as quick as possible if your looking to hook-up, that’s the best piece of advise I can give you.

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